Lists Press

It was 1970, when every household you wept to see had their grandma still breathing, health was a better tablet, no aspirin, no drugs, nothing. You also wanted to peep in and see what was the old hag drooling about, and then you had to ask her about her mental wellness, and she lied to you to keep you happy. She also lied about her needle cushion during her sewing time. My dad lied because he didn’t want to upset his wife. Lying was a second nature; I mean you could even lie about taking a turd in the back yard. In the 90s lying was different; people understood that you were a fabler, a rude con artist etc. These days you lie because you don’t know the truth. Just as an arrow is catapulted in a second and a team is sent a minute later to verify the hit, a lie too is thrown wide open and then some SWAT team of falsehood is sent to verify the field, too bad it take years on the latter. Gentlemen we present you with ten biggest liars who told (biggest, of course) lies in history.

10. James Frey

Has anybody been reading “A Million Little Pieces” to their wives lately? Admit it because you surely don’t want the plagiarism board handing you contraceptives in your own bed. This little book is an autobiography of James Frey, written by him (of course, because it’s an autobiography, stupid!). You can even find this book in the Library of Congress, it’s that popular. The day this book became a bestseller, our Oprah Winfrey, the black hag, fell in love with it and wanted to add it to her book club, but loo! The black fairy found it plagiarized and many ideas in the book being reproduced. She had to face James Frey in the ring now, thus he was called to her show after much controversy. When appeared, James admitted that he was on drugs and didn’t know he was reproducing other writer’s stuff; he wept to show his decency and blamed the drama on his doctors and his inner daemons. What a fagot!

9. Stephen Glass

The other day my ex-girlfriend got me this movie called “Shattered Glass” from her video shop, we sat the night over and watched it together, talked about it and slept like two Egyptian virgins. This film is based on a real man named Stephen Glass who was an actual reporter in the 90s and boy he was famous, he defined the ideal reporter and practiced like one. His methods became so popular that he launched bogus websites to prove his work and get great stories. After much speculation he was charged with fabricating stories, his career halted and it was all over. I am not even crying!

8. Jayson Blair

This bloke didn’t learn from Mr. Grass and followed his knees to the letter. He was charged with duplicating sections of his stories from other successful sources. He was a known reporter in New York in the year 2003. After his actions were notified to the public he couldn’t hide like other guilty men and he decided to publish a book, WHAT! I would leave the country if you ask me. In his book he reasoned that bipolar disorder and alcohol problems led him to this. You guessed it, his book even reads a stupid title, “Burning Down My Masters’ House: My Life at he New York Times” Purrff!

7. Janet Cooke

This lady should be pecked to death by ostriches while mating. Yes Janet we are that angry! She was a journalist for the Washington post and a Pulitzer Prize winner for her famous story called ‘Jimmy’s World”. This story chronicles the life of a boy under the influence of heroin. People who read and believed that the story was an actual event were very impressed and on the whole the tale was well received, until much later about 2 years after, it was found that Janet the winning lady, fabricated the whole story, it was not an actual event. This led to a betrayed public and Janet ended up returning the prize. Not only this, she also lied about her degree and education just to get an honest job. Which idiot gave her the prize in the first place!?

6. Jack Kelley

It seems that the conference board of plagiarism is after every page in the book. We are not going to let this one get away too. Jack Kelley, a correspondent for the USA Today was charged with faking stories and deliberately making up story parts as if it happened in reality. He was a contestant for the Pulitzer Prize but after his behavior, he went inaudible and left his job.

5. Bill Clinton

Monica Lewinsky, does the name remind you of anything? No? A woman with a taste for politics, a woman looking for rich men and a woman liking prestige and fame, still a no? Well you are as clouded as Bill, PEOPLE! we are talking about the lady; Bill Clinton had an affair with. Bill denied his connections with Monica under a pledge, but when later found and publicly accused of this extramarital affair, he was left abused and embarrassed. He should have married this Monica bitch to save his presidency. I mean I would certainly adore the hot dollar over any hot intern! The White House isn’t red anymore its lovely PINK!

4. Richard Nixon

Richard Nixon or should I say the illegal detective, was very smart for his age, he was the 37^th president of the United States. Some say he was very influential and sturdy for his age, spoke with confidence and uttered what he could do when promised, but he also was a bit naughty, he was accused of participating in illegal wrongdoings, technological eavesdropping and few harassment cases. But Nixon was clever, knew how to save the public humiliation and resigned from office on time. Clever stud!

3. The Internet Toilet

Alas! Microsoft had done it again; first it was the embarrassment snagged during the live launch of Windows 98, now some technological toilet for the bean fed people. What is it with the code programmers, they couldn’t leave out humble five minutes of our entire day without computers, you had to compute math’s and gross grammar on web while shitting waste, even the Pope would have constipated over a diet meal on this idea. They call it the “iLoo” yes, Apple did get jealous of the idea too but it was too late to implement. This thing supposedly worked while connected to the World Wide Web, so that all the waste would go the recycle bin and could never be restored. The media investigated this invention, but it was a major deception. A lie couldn’t get dirtier than this.

2. Samukeliso Sithole

Some men can’t resist looking at women and vice versa. Some men can’t resist to actually be a female, now that’s where it gets boring. One such dude known by the name of Samukeliso Sithole successfully went into Olympics as a female, he was successfull enough to be proven as a female lead, his chest, face, even his voice blended in. Not later in the dressing room he was caught with his distinguishing organ stark naked protruding around his jockeys, by an actual female athlete, and was reported to the authorities. She was then questioned and her career was terminated. Where was the fun in all this?

1. Newton and the Apple

Most of us have believed that the apple was to blame for the famous Newton laws, but it’s not true. One day while taking a nap under a farm tree, the apple fell on his head; he rose, went home, did some scribbling and came out with a formula, BULLSHIT! In fact there was no apple, no tree, no Newton at that time. This is just a children’s faulty tale sort off hallucination, it just isn’t real. A big lie we have been hearing since our school days. Why on earth would he have derived the law from the encounter with this particular apple, leaves fall to the ground as well, a volatile puke flows downwards as well, and you never piss UPWARDS, do YOU? Pathetic attempt at humor, whoever stated this apple story?