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Celebrities are like my armpits, no really just as I grow them to be long and perfumed and never going for my favorite tennis match without a healthy plantation, they obviously let the competitors know that the inhabitants of Godly aroma has arrived. Similarly celebrities are prone to such behavior, they love to shine in public, they smell of expensive odors and obnoxious merit, their notorious charm gets them a top dollar, but in the end you just want to shave your galleries off and give way to the newer growth. But then there exists creatures who want to keep them trimmed and odor free, like Clint Eastwood. Before you go any further, decide which type you fit into, are you the infamous being with a strong conscience or just looking for a village ride to your Granddad’s legendary armpits. The latter! Right, Eh?

10. Lady Gaga – Fan Finger

Yaw-Yaw Olalla! What a hit single! It may come at a surprise but Gaga is a Yankees fan. After her overnight success, she went for a little childhood interest hunt and sat among other hardcore fans at the NY Mets game, but she wasn’t expecting her team to do so well good, that she had to pop up her F-ing finger and utter what other sordid American does at Burger King, the F-word (as if the demonstration wasn’t enough).

9. Angelina Jolie – Blabber Mom

Quoted saying, “I want to have a shaved head, thirty tattoos and three lovers.” Oh yeah, wait till Brad hears this, this doesn’t happen anymore, thanks to Jolie for bringing that up, three lovers! Why? As if Billy Bob wasn’t enough, she had to have Brad, who’s next, Jack Nicholson?! He is half way to heaven. Rephrase that Jolie, in fact it should have been, “I want a whole new womb, a biological robot and an adopted husband”!

8. Britney Spears – A Quoted Mishap Genius

To preserve the fun, we have quoted the exact statements Britney was caught puking, here it comes, are you ready? “I performed at Mom and Dad’s party when I was four. Oh my Gosh! I was singing a Madonna song and I peed myself” and if this wasn’t sufficient here is another one “I did not have implants, I just had a growth spurt”.

Let’s appreciate a moment of defeat and surrender your common sense, WHAT in lord punished name was she thinking when she said that, that’s just like Archimedes going back for a towel! Get your lyrics together Britney.

7. Ozzy Osbourne – Public Pisser

It was February 2002, when a man, drunk with brandy, and madly aroused was seen unzipping his briefs and unloading his bladder onto the Alamo Cenotaph, it’s a stone memorial honoring the Alamo defenders in San Antonio, Texas. This man was no other but Ozzy, dressed in his woman’s attire and did God knows what after urinating the load. An act regarded hilariously stupid by the authorities ended in a twenty year denouncement from the city. You should have pee-d over my girlfriend’s Barbie for fun, why paint over the statue, Ozzy.

 6. Eddie Murphy

Can u contrast a neglected twig from frittered ivy? Well, that’s the whole point of not being a prostitute. Eddie seems to have forgotten about the Old Testament, where the good old man helped the needy in spite of his riches. He was found by the authorities in broad daylight with a cross dresser who he claimed was “disjointed”, so he picked him up and was on his way escorting the poor guy to his home, wait a sec, a closet queen has no home! Later it was found out that the guy had a prior arrest history, finally Murphy got his French letters back, Whew!

5. Tom Cruise – The Optional Hop Bunny

I am not a fan of TV shows, don’t like the long blabber talks, hate the host messing with the guest for no apparent reason and I practically spit on the black-o-popular Oprah doll, we get to see every Wednesday. I am not surprised when Tom was invited over, he expressed his success by jumping on the couch and bounced around the whole set, he should have gone naked and kissed the African female, should the show had been exceeded for another half hour. Let’s all agree, I would clap for Tom all the way. Sorry Oprah Winfrey, we hate your guts and your dress!

4. George Michael – The Toilet Mouse

It was April 1998, when an undercover police officer stormed into the public toilet area, as his part of the regular job protocol, he happened to come across George Michael, who at that time was busy un-easing all that bear and juice, and just out of nowhere comes “I’ll show you mine, you show me yours,” from the singer’s lovely lips. Officer Holton was taken aback, his filtered mass frozen, his dump rotten etc. This act eventually led to his dirty arrest. What a jerko!

3. Winona Ryder – The Sexy Bandit

Yes, she too saw all those robbery films and learnt the art of shoplifting whist still looking exposed and uncanny, so that she can get away easily, WHAT was she thinking?! She stole bras, panties, and other playboy junk items, she ever wanted as a child worth $4K, wow thats a lot in the gummy sack. She was charged with possession of drugs and other mother and child of abuse assets etc. To bring the incident down, it was thrown in the air that it were the after dinner noisy painkillers that stole the undergarments not our queen Winona!

2. Edward Furlong – The Lobster Lover

It was a bright day and the Kentucky grocery store had all the attraction it needed, people were very happy with the old man running the place, when as luck would have it with armpits, when they want to stench, they really MEAN so, this was a similar moment when our candidate Edward walked into the scene and started throwing out the lobsters and their siblings into the driveway, this good freeing moment of Furlong and the lobsters went on for  10 minutes when the sheriff broke in and arrested the teen on spot. Furlong was going around in circles doing god know what with the seafood, I guessed the lobster wanted an exercise run in the liquor bar after all.

1. Boy George – The Chained Clipper

They say when you are in the mood; you should do what it takes to achieve that task, even when you have to do the impossible. Well I am about to prove that wrong here, the phenomenon of an active ingredient is spoiled and George is a perfect one, he did what none other photographer did, he achieved what no other celebrity has ever done, underperformed a classic chain of false moves, he was found photographing a male escort while forcefully chaining him the way he wanted to get the unexpected and rather impossible deep close-ups on film. Way to go Boy, you may do me someday too..!